01 January 2014

raise your glass

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I can't believe it's the year of our Lord 2014.  I remember when it was about to be the year 2000, and computers were going to crash and the world was going to stop spinning.  I even remember what I wore that New Year's Eve, and I'm glad fashion has come a long way since that chartreuse shirt, those baggy jeans, and that pair of clunky brown shoes.

Yikes.

I got a little sentimental last night, thinking about how it was the last New Year's Eve JLR and I would spend alone together.  From now on, there will be another human to think about and take care of and keep alive.  And while I was thinking of all these things, JLR was sound asleep next to me.  Obviously we were riding separate trains of thought.

Tomorrow we go back to work, but we've had a nice long break and have accomplished a lot in our time off.  So much that I really don't know where to begin.

So I'll just give a little debrief and save the rest for additional posts.  I thought about making a New Year's resolution to post on a regular schedule, and then I decided to save myself the embarrassment of failing at that and have instead made zero resolutions.

Aim high, yes?

In short, we have finished rearranging our house to prepare for the Kernel's arrival.  We have had two rooms painted.  We have worked on several house projects.  I have learned to knit.  We have spent time with my family in Kentucky.  We have run errands, lunched with friends, and cleaned out junk.  We have put away our Christmas decorations.  And as I take a break from working on painting and polying shelves {don't worry, I'm taking measures to ensure that I don't breathe too many fumes} to write this post, JLR is under the house implementing what we hope will be a fix for a creaky floor in the nursery.

Also, it's really weird that I can call a room in our house a nursery.  We're back to that whole keeping another human alive thing.  I figure if a whole lot of yahoos in this world can do it, so can two capable people.

More to come soon.  Stay tuned.


29 October 2013

dancing bear

My mom is a huge fan of Dick Van Dyke.

Dick Van Dyke lives in Malibu, in a neighborhood just down the hill from Pepperdine's campus.

JLR and I met him at a Malibu High School production of Les Miserables.

My dad and brother saw him at the Chart House on Pacific Coast Highway.

My aunt and uncle got his autograph when they spotted him at Coogie's, another Malibu restaurant.

A girl I worked with my senior year at Pepperdine baby-sat for his next-door neighbors and chatted multiple times with both DVD and his wife.

But as long as I lived in and around Malibu {11 years}, and as many trips as my mom made out there to visit me {a lot}, she never once laid eyes on him.

Bears are my Dick Van Dyke.

I went to Yosemite in the spring of 2010 with JLR, his brother Blake, and Blake's wife Meghan.  Cautionary tales abound about what to do and not do when bears appear, how to store your food to keep from attracting them, etc.

I never saw a single trace of a bear.

And I may have even left a Luden's cherry cough drop out in our tent in the hopes that the scent would draw one close...

Ahem.

I've been to the Smoky Mountains in eastern Tennessee multiple times.  My dad and stepmom see bears all over the place there.  Other people spot them in downtown Gatlinburg.

But do they show up when I'm there looking for proof that they exist outside of cartoons and zoos?

Nope.

This past weekend, JLR and I drove east to "camp" with my dad and stepmom for a couple nights.  We stay in their motor home and eat most of our meals at local restaurants, so there's really not much roughing it going on, but it's always nice to be in the Smokies.

Where there are zero bears.

In case you were wondering.


24 October 2013

sugar, sugar

You know what's really disappointing?  Seeing a caterer come into your conference room at the end of an all-day training seminar to drop off a cake...that's not for you.

But hey, Person Who Put in 25 Years of Service, congrats.  Hope you enjoyed your icing balloons as much as I would have enjoyed them.

{Like that's even possible.}

Really, this day has consisted only of training, e-mails, sore feet, scrubbing floors, and various other household chores.

But it has definitely not involved cake.

Of that I am sure.

And at least I'm not bitter.


22 October 2013

where in the world is...

Day one of my new employment situation is done, and there were only a couple incidents that had me shaking my head, so I'll call it a success.

One such incident was when I was introduced to someone who immediately responded, "Carmen San Diego?!" as he shook my hand.

If only I had a nickel for every time I've heard that...

Let's be honest.  If I really had a nickel for every time I've heard that, JLR and I would be so rich that neither of us would need to work and we'd fly to our vacation home in French Polynesia on our Gulfstream jet.

There are vending machines on each floor of the building where I now work.  Odd-numbered floors have Pepsi products in the drink machine.  Even-numbered floors have Coke products.

Guess which floor is mine.  The third floor.

And guess what I am.  A Coke girl.

It didn't make the day a total bust, but it sure does seem to be a sign that I'm not in a lifelong position.

After work, JLR and I made dinner and watched Wheel of Fortune while we ate it.  One of the puzzles was a "What are you doing?" category, and the answer was "Watching the sunrise from the deck."

Is it just us or does it seem like kind of an odd puzzle?  Why the deck, specifically?

Now I find myself in the hour right before the clock hits double digits, and there is laundry to be done before I go to bed, so I guess that means it's time to fold some towels.  Turns out this full-time work gig means you actually have to be there every single weekday, all day long.

{Who thinks of these rules?}

Try not to be jealous of all the glamour we experience on a daily basis.

21 October 2013

9 to 5

Happy Monday!

{Too much?}

This, folks, is my last day of "freedom."  I say that b/c tomorrow, I start a full-time job in the HR department of a large corporation.  I've always worked in "mom and pop" types of settings, so this should be all kinds of different.

I use quotes around freedom b/c really, I'm not cut out for staying at home or working from home full-time.  I'm smack on the line between being an introvert and being an extrovert, so I'm energized both by being around people and by being alone.  Turns out I'm only motivated by being around people.  At home, with no human company and no strict deadlines, the minutes turn to hours and the hours turn to days and I realize I've gotten through half a season of a show on Netflix but I still haven't put away my breakfast dishes or done any actual work.

It's all fun and games till a sheriff shows up at your house at 2 p.m. looking for the guy who used to live here and you have to answer the door in your PJs.

By the way, Guy Who Used to Live Here, in two years I've had two visits from the sheriff's department and one from the IRS.  If I were you, I'd get my crap together real quick-like, b/c eventually, I'm pretty sure they'll locate you.

{Hopefully, Guy Who Used to Live Here, you won't be in your PJs like I was.}

In case any of you would like a pregnancy update, here goes: It's a boy!  We're officially having a mini-JLR, and I think the original JLR is pretty relieved by that.  Other than that, it's just business as usual.  I'm feeling good, we're discovering exactly how much needs to be done before mid-February, and we're trying to enjoy every moment of the process without being overwhelmed by it.  The occasional Ritter Sport, of the Butter Biscuit variety, really helps calm me.  Try it sometime.  You can find them at your local Trader Joe's.  Or in Germany.  They're cheaper in Germany, but the cost of transportation kind of offsets the savings, so it's up to you, really.

And since I don't know where to go from there, it's probably time to work on my last to-do list item for the day.


11 September 2013

vogue

It seems I can't find a topic worthy of following my last post.

Or perhaps I've just spent too much of my free time watching Netflix episodes of Gossip Girl so I can ogle the New York City scenery.

{I've never been, you know.}

{To NYC, that is.}

Things in our household are progressing nicely.  My hair has officially grown into a styleless mass that will be cut this week.  The Kernel {our unborn child} has grown into the size of a lemon.  I have grown right out of my clothes and into a pair of maternity jeans.  And JLR has grown accustomed to my lack of interest in any food that is not beige.

Speaking of Cracker Barrel dumplings...

Oh, no one was?  How odd.  I could've sworn I heard it.

JLR's mom and sister and his sister's two sons came to visit for a week.  It was great to have a full house and spend time showing them around our little town.  The nephews, DTH and LLH, are almost four and newly two (respectively).  As we were getting ready for dinner one evening, I mentioned that I was going to change and make myself look pretty.  DTH asked, "Do you need some little bit of help?"  I said sure, and he offered to pick out my shoes for me.  When I showed him my selection of footwear, he chose a pair of bright red patent pumps.  I pulled them out of their slot on my shoe hanger, and he said, "These are actually kind of cool!"  He then proceeded to try to pick out a shirt for me, but I had to veto his choice since I have only a few shirts right now that fit well.  I pulled out a textured cream top for his opinion, and he said, "Hmm...it looks a little...comfy."  And he then instructed me to try it on.  When I was fully dressed, shoes and all, we walked out into the living room, and he said, "Beautiful."

Out of the mouths of babes.

I could not have been more entertained.

And now JLR has flitted off to Boston, and my entertainment is being provided by Dixie and her puppy friend Lucy, whom we are dog-sitting for several days while her people are in Japan.

Also, I can't believe that it's been 12 years today since the morning I went to class and heard about planes hitting the Twin Towers.  It took viewing a decent amount of news coverage in the HAWC before I fully grasped the brevity of the situation on the other side of the country from my west coast dorm room.  I will never forget that day, nor the declaration of war that followed from former President Bush.

On a completely unrelated and totally irrelevant and irreverent closing note, don't you think there's just something about having a French manicure?  I got one today, and I feel automatically classier, as though I just acquired a British accent.

I'm sure an episode of Gossip Girl and a slice of cold leftover veggie pizza will knock that feeling right out of me.

Tschuss!


16 August 2013

little wonders

When I was little, I was. . .um. . .let's call it strong-willed.

I fought against taking baths.  And putting on socks.  And leaving the house if I wasn't wearing lipstick and a dress and carrying a handbag.

I bit my brother.  Semi-regularly.

While carrying one snake in each hand, I chased a family friend who was afraid of snakes through our back yard until he jumped the fence into the neighbor's yard.  I was maybe three years old.  {You're welcome, Todd.}

I threw fits in restaurants.  I threw fits in department stores.  I banged my head on the wall when I was mad and then refused to speak to my parents.  They had to send my brother in to do damage control, b/c I would talk to him.

I had colic when I was born and then didn't sleep through the night till I was four years old.  {Yes, years.}

But I potty-trained myself.

And since I had to learn everything my brother was learning, I could read by the time I was four.

Plus, I was cute.


* * *

When JLR was little, he was, for the most part, quite well-behaved.

He did hold his sister upside-down over a second-story banister with nothing below her but a marble floor.

And he did skip catechism once.  {...Tammy.}

But he ate the food his mother prepared.  He made his bed without even having to be asked.

He organized the playroom.

And he slept well.

Plus, he was cute.


* * *

Since the day we got married, JLR has been apprehensive about the prospect of having children b/c he's afraid that his genes aren't strong enough to tame mine.

In February 2014, we'll find out if he's right.

Lord help.

Today, I am 13 weeks pregnant.

The next birthday we celebrate in this household will be that of our child.

Here goes nothin'...


13 August 2013

{i can't get no} satisfaction

1. I think I need a new car.  I discovered today that there is really no efficient way for me to transport two snoballs {if you don't know what they are, take a little trip to New Orleans and ask} at a time.  This is inexcusable and must be remedied.  Pronto.

2. Anytime I see Oprah on TV or watch something like CMA Music Fest {does anyone else think it's weird that the festival takes place in June but doesn't air on TV until August?}, it makes me want to let one of those makeup artists have a go at my face.  Wonder who {or what?} I'd look like by the time s/he was finished with me?  Living in Malibu for years confirmed that there is a huge difference between an on-screen face and an off-screen face {I'm talking to you, Pam Anderson}.

3. In my birthday blog, I neglected to include several quotable JLR moments.  Here they are, for your {and my} reading pleasure:

JLR: The first two options will involve the general public.  I mean, you won't be mobbed or anything, but you will be in public.
Me: Thank you for specifying that I won't be mobbed.  Excuse me while I put this in the notes in my phone for the blog post I'm going to write about this later.
*****
JLR: Are you sure you're ready for this?
Me: No, but you must love me b/c you're up and out of the house at 5:50 a.m.
JLR: [nodding] I wouldn't do that for very many of my wives.
*****
Me: [after passing a cop car] Be careful; the po-po might get us.
JLR: They can't catch us.

4. Guess what percent chance of rain was in the forecast today...0%!  And then guess what happened.  Twice.  Yep, it poured.

5. Dog people, take note.  A couple months ago, I started weaning Dixie off her kennel, meaning she didn't have to be put away when we left the house.  This used to be the case anyway, but when we moved, she got all out of sorts and chewed up my favorite rug, several windowsills, a TV stand, and part of the front door, so we got her puppy condo out of storage.  I don't like putting her in there for long periods of time, so now that we've been in our house for quite a while and nothing is new anymore, I decided to get rid of it.  Today, as I was getting ready to leave the house {"getting ready" by shutting bedroom doors since she likes to help herself to a nap on our bed or the guest bed or the couch in the den and we're not really okay with that}, I turned to see this pitiful sight:


She's lying right where the kennel used to be.  I'm dumbfounded.  I can't figure out if she misses the security of it or if she's really just that pitiful and wants all the sympathy she can get.

I just can't win, apparently, when it comes to Dixie's creature comforts.